deliverance

In my first post, I wrote about my old journal that God told me to stop reading.  Today, I found out it was ok that I read it again.  I didn't think it would be this soon.  God and I are on a journey together and I have to completely depend on Him for deliverance out of my pit of weight gain and food addiction.

"God will never be codependent with you.  He will never pat your broken back and say, "Who could blame you for all of this?"  He wants You up on your feet, living abundantly, profoundly, effectively." - Beth Moore

I needed to hear this today.  Today marks day 6 of the strict diet/tool God gave me through my sister.  During this strict time, I'm supposed to see rapid weight loss.  Yesterday, I gained 1/2 of a pound.  Mind you, I haven't' cheated at all and yesterday was the hardest day I've had as far as craving junk food goes.  I figured that since the desire was so strong that if I fought through it and stuck with the plan I would be set up for a loss today.  No such luck.  I woke up this morning and weighed the SAME THING I did yesterday.  The last thing I wanted this morning was my dumb smoothie.  I wanted to throw in the towel...drown myself in bacon, pancakes and pity.  Alas, I said, "maybe tomorrow," made my smoothie, sat down for my quiet time, found out I could read my old journal again, and then read that quote I felt like was straight from God's mouth to my ears because I desperately needed to hear that the Lord will not attend my pity party and say, "Well, who could blame you for indulging after two days of no weight loss on the strict diet you're on?"  Nope.  Instead He would say, "Give me the glory.  Lean on me.  Not food.  I will give you the strength to carry on and I ALONE can satisfy that hunger in your soul for comfort." HALLELUJAH, the Lord is faithful!!

At house church on Tuesday, the Lord revealed to me a reason I wasn't ready to read my journal- that journal is where I gain most of my weight.  Now that the Lord is engraining in me that this is not only a physical journey but a spiritual one, I think that's why I'm ready to read the journal.  I don't know for sure- the Lord knows better than me but I read in that old journal today some notes from an old sermon and one of the points in the old sermon was this:  "God will give us what we choose but He will not leave us with what we get."  Thank the Lord because I choose some crummy things for myself.

Well, it's time to go workout, get on with my day and use the tools God has given me so far to get out of this pit.  "God will be your complete Deliverer or nothing at all.  That's the one rule of divine rescue....God absolutely refuses to share His glory....He may use any number of people in your life- friends, a counselor, a family member, or fellow believer- to come alongside and encourage as part of His process.  But He alone must deliver You...or you will never be free." -Beth Moore